ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
