can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
