i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
