Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
