Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
