Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
