i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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