Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
