Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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