I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Small penises have feelings too.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
