i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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