I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
