Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
