Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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