Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
