how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
