I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
