Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
