you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
