my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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