you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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