i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
