when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
