its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
