dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
