My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
That reminds me...we need to get swords
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
