Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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