I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
