the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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