Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
