also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
