just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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