did you get engaged???
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
