Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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