what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
