My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
