Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
