I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
