Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
