I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
