she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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