Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
