sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
