Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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