I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it was like eating out sand paper
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
