my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
