So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
