before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
