Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
