I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
