OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
don't judge my taste in strippers
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
