There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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